Books

Reading books written by survivors and clinicians is a low-cost way to gain understanding of complex trauma. These books offer a valuable mixture of personal narratives and structured learning, providing both validation and practical knowledge for your healing journey.

Don’t feel intimidated by a book’s length—many provide useful information even in the first couple of chapters. You can read them over time at your own pace, or listen to them as audiobooks while commuting or doing housework. The important thing is to approach them in a way that feels manageable and supportive to you.

If one book doesn’t resonate with you, try a different one—these books touch on different aspects of trauma and recovery, and what works for one person may not work for another. Each book offers unique perspectives and insights.

Trauma and Recovery

By Judith Herman, MD

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Herman is a foundational text in trauma studies that explores the psychological impact of trauma and the path to recovery.

Key points:

Historical context of trauma recognition: The book documents how trauma has been systematically ignored, denied, or misunderstood throughout the history of psychiatry and psychology. Herman describes “episodic amnesia” where trauma research is repeatedly taken up and abandoned.
Complex PTSD: Herman introduced the concept of Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) to describe the psychological impact of prolonged, repeated trauma, particularly that which occurs during childhood. While not included in the DSM-5, it was recognized by the World Health Organization in the ICD-11.
Misdiagnosis of trauma survivors: The book documents how trauma survivors—particularly women—were historically misdiagnosed as having mood disorders, personality disorders, or character flaws. Women’s complaints about abuse were dismissed as hysterical, masochistic, or delusional.
Three stages of recovery: Herman outlines a three-stage recovery process: (1) establishing safety, (2) remembrance and mourning, and (3) reconnection with ordinary life. The recovery process must be paced carefully and cannot be rushed.
The trauma survivor’s experience: The book emphasizes that trauma survivors’ responses to abuse are adaptive, not pathological. Symptoms like hypervigilance, emotional dysregulation, and dissociation are understandable responses to chronic harm, not intrinsic personality defects.
Safety as the foundation: The first and most critical stage of recovery is establishing safety—both physical and psychological. Without safety, trauma survivors cannot begin to process or heal from their experiences.
Remembrance and mourning: The second stage involves processing traumatic memories and mourning what was lost. This must be done carefully and with support, as retraumatization is a real risk.
Reconnection: The final stage involves reconnecting with life, building new relationships, and finding meaning after trauma. Recovery is not about returning to who you were before, but about building a new life that incorporates your experiences.

The book is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand trauma from a historical, clinical, and survivor-centered perspective.

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

By Pete Walker

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker offers crucial insights for survivors of childhood trauma.

Key points:

Many people with complex PTSD believe there’s something wrong with them, when in reality they are experiencing understandable responses to childhood trauma.
Emotional flashbacks: Sudden, intense regressions to the emotional states of childhood (fear, shame, despair) often without a clear memory trigger. Learning to recognize and manage these is crucial.
Toxic shame: A pervasive feeling of being fundamentally flawed or unworthy, leading to self-criticism and low self-esteem.
The inner critic: An internalized, harsh voice that perpetuates self-blame and perfectionism, often rooted in early experiences of neglect or abuse.
The four F’s of trauma response:
- Fight: Aggressive responses to threats
- Flight: Avoidance or escapism
- Freeze: Emotional numbing or dissociation
- Fawn: People-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict
Self-reparenting: As an adult, the only unconditional love comes from yourself. Learning to provide self-compassion, self-acceptance, and the nurturing care you didn’t receive as a child is essential for healing.

The first several chapters are excellent for understanding these foundational concepts and how they apply to your own recovery journey.

The Body Keeps the Score

By Bessel van der Kolk, MD

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk explores the profound impact of trauma on both the mind and body, drawing from decades of research and clinical practice.

Key points:

Mind-body connection: Trauma is not solely a psychological issue; it manifests physically, leading to chronic health problems and somatic symptoms. Understanding this connection is essential for healing.
Neuroplasticity and trauma: Traumatic events can rewire the brain, particularly areas responsible for pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. This can result in heightened stress responses and emotional dysregulation, but it also means the brain can be healed and rewired.
Memory and trauma: Trauma can disrupt normal memory processing, leading to fragmented or intrusive memories that are often disconnected from the conscious narrative. These memories may surface as physical sensations or emotions.
Holistic healing approaches: Effective recovery involves integrating traditional therapies with body-centered practices such as yoga, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), neurofeedback, and other somatic therapies to address both psychological and physiological aspects of trauma.
Safety and relationships: Creating safe environments and supportive relationships is fundamental to healing. The book emphasizes the importance of feeling safe in the present before processing past trauma.

What My Bones Know

By Stephanie Foo

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo is a powerful memoir that explores the author’s personal journey with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), diagnosed at age thirty.

Key points:

Personal narrative of C-PTSD: Foo shares her story of childhood abuse at the hands of both parents (Malaysian immigrants), abandonment during her teenage years, and how she achieved professional success while grappling with panic attacks and emotional turmoil.
You can’t move on, but you can move with trauma: A central theme is that while you cannot simply “move on” from trauma, it is possible to learn to “move with” it—embracing both the challenges and triumphs that come with healing. Healing is an ongoing process, not a destination.
Intergenerational trauma: The book explores how trauma can be passed down through generations, particularly within immigrant families. Foo investigates her family’s history in Malaysia, uncovering familial secrets and highlighting how trauma patterns can be inherited.
Intersection of cultural identity and trauma: The memoir examines how cultural context, particularly the immigrant experience, shapes both the experience of trauma and the healing journey.
Seeking understanding: Foo documents her quest for recovery, including interviews with neuroscientists and psychologists, participation in various therapeutic approaches, and her process of making sense of her experiences.
Hope and healing: Despite the challenges, the book offers hope and demonstrates that healing is possible, even while living with complex trauma.

Building a Life Worth Living

By Marsha M. Linehan

Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir by Marsha M. Linehan is a powerful memoir that shares the author’s personal journey from a suicidal teenager to the developer of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), an evidence-based treatment now widely used for complex trauma.

Key points:

Personal journey of recovery: Linehan shares her story of experiencing a severe mental health crisis at age 18, including hospitalization and treatments like electroconvulsive therapy. Her personal struggle with emotional pain motivated her to create effective treatments for others.
The dialectic of acceptance and change: DBT combines self-acceptance with strategies for change—acknowledging where you are while working toward where you want to be. This “both/and” approach is central to healing from trauma.
Mindfulness and practical life skills: The book emphasizes the importance of mindfulness and practical skills in therapy, including emotion regulation, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and mindfulness itself. These skills help survivors manage intense emotions and build fulfilling lives.
Building a life worth living: The title reflects the core goal—not just surviving, but creating a life that feels meaningful and worth living, even when living with the effects of trauma.
Resilience and hope: Linehan’s story demonstrates profound resilience, showing that even after severe struggles, recovery and transformation are possible. Her journey from patient to therapist to treatment creator offers hope to others.
Validation and connection: The book highlights the importance of feeling understood and validated in one’s experience, which is often missing for trauma survivors. DBT emphasizes validation as a core component of healing.

The Courage to Heal

By Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis is a groundbreaking self-help book first published in 1988 that offers guidance and support for women recovering from childhood sexual abuse.

Key points:

Validation of experiences: The book emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and validating survivors’ experiences, helping them understand that their feelings and memories are legitimate. It helped break the silence surrounding child sexual abuse.
Stages of healing: It outlines various stages of the healing journey, including remembering, mourning, and healing, providing guidance on navigating each phase of recovery.
Repressed memories: The book discusses how memories of abuse can become repressed or dissociated as a protective mechanism, and how these memories may resurface later in life. It validates that survivors may have clear memories, fragmented memories, or vague recollections.
Processing memories: It provides guidance on the process of working through traumatic memories, including how to approach remembering safely, how to handle the emotional impact of recovered memories, and the importance of processing these memories with support.
Personal narratives and accounts: The book combines personal narratives from survivors with practical advice and therapeutic exercises, offering both validation and practical tools for healing.
Coping strategies: The authors offer practical coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional and psychological aftermath of abuse, such as grounding techniques and self-care practices.
Empowerment and reclaiming power: The book encourages survivors to reclaim their power and autonomy, fostering a sense of control over their healing process.
Building support systems: It highlights the significance of building a supportive network, whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted individuals.

No Bad Parts

By Richard C. Schwartz, PhD

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz introduces the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, which views the mind as composed of multiple sub-personalities or “parts.”

Key points:

Trauma and developmental arrest: Trauma causes us to become stuck in early phases of childhood where we could not fully develop. Parts of us remain frozen in those moments, unable to move forward with healthy development.
Protection mechanisms stuck in time: These parts created protection mechanisms to keep us safe during traumatic experiences, but they get stuck trying to protect us from things that no longer exist or pose a threat. The protections that once helped us survive can now limit our growth and relationships.
No bad parts: The central concept is that all parts have positive intentions—they were trying to protect us. There are no inherently “bad” parts, only parts doing their best to keep us safe based on outdated information.
The goal: The healing process involves helping these parts understand that they are safe now. By accessing your core Self (characterized by calmness, curiosity, and compassion), you can communicate with these protective parts, showing them that the danger they once protected you from no longer exists, allowing them to release their extreme protective roles.
Moving forward: Once parts feel safe, they can release their burdens and return to their natural, helpful roles, allowing for continued development and growth that was interrupted by trauma.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

By Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson is a seminal work that explores the lasting effects of being raised by emotionally immature parents.

Key points:

Four types of emotionally immature parents: The book categorizes these parents into four distinct types—Emotional Parents (unpredictable and overwhelmed by their own feelings), Driven Parents (perfectionistic and controlling), Passive Parents (avoidant and disengaged), and Rejecting Parents (detached and uninterested)—helping readers identify patterns in their upbringing.
Emotional loneliness: Children raised by emotionally immature parents often experience profound emotional loneliness, as their emotional needs were not met. This can lead to long-term feelings of being unseen or misunderstood.
Coping mechanisms: The book explores how children develop coping mechanisms like internalizing problems (blaming themselves) or seeking external validation to compensate for the lack of emotional support from parents.
Recognizing patterns: Understanding and recognizing these patterns is crucial for healing. The book helps readers identify how their parents’ emotional immaturity affected them and continues to impact their adult relationships and behaviors.
Healing and healthy relationships: Gibson emphasizes the importance of recognizing these patterns to foster healing and develop healthier relationships. The book provides strategies for breaking free from the cycle of seeking validation from emotionally unavailable people.
Understanding parental limitations: It helps readers understand that emotionally immature parents have limitations that are not the child’s fault, and that as adults, we can learn to meet our own emotional needs and set healthy boundaries.

Soul Survivors

By J. Patrick Gannon, PhD

Soul Survivors: A New Beginning for Adults Abused as Children by J. Patrick Gannon is the foundational text for the international self-help group ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child Abuse), first published in 1989. While the book is now out of print (replaced by the updated Survivor to Thriver manual used by ASCA), it remains valuable for people who appreciate real-life examples and personal narratives from survivors.

Why it’s still useful:

Stories of survivors: The book contains personal narratives and real-life examples from survivors, providing connection and validation through shared experiences.
Foundation for ASCA: The book serves as the foundational text that inspired ASCA support groups worldwide, providing the framework for peer-led recovery meetings.
Structured 21-step program: Offers a clear, step-by-step approach to recovery from childhood abuse, with practical strategies and insights woven throughout survivor stories.
Historical context: While the updated Survivor to Thriver manual is the current ASCA resource, “Soul Survivors” offers historical context and the original vision of the program.

For the most current ASCA materials and program updates, see the Survivor to Thriver manual.